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The Tentacle


January 11, 2005

Out With the Old, In With the New

Jason Grabill

Well, the New Year is upon us. It always seems to jump up and grab me, unawares. "Holy Cow, it's a New Year? Where did the old one go?" It's much the same this year.

One minute, it was March, the next, the Fair, and now, 2005. All in all, '04 wasn't a bad year, as years go. Sure, there were some glitches, but it could have been much worse. So, as we go into the New Year, some leftover potpourri from 2004 needs to be cleared up.

One of the things I'm most thankful for is that George W. Bush won. And, minor blips from various left leaning outlets notwithstanding, this seems to have finally caused the glandular party to do some serious navel gazing.

This is probably a good thing, but I'm doubtful much will come of it. Nevertheless, the party of Howard Dean, Michael Moore, and Barbra Streisand has been wonderfully quiet here of late, for which I'm grateful.

Naturally, some still can't face reality. Recently a few diehards held a rally in front of Senator John Kerry's home in Boston, begging him to "keep fighting." The lack of coverage by the media in general indicates even the most left leaning among them have figured out that some in the wacky left have less a grip on reality than once believed.

Mr. Kerry's reaction was not noted, by the way. Unnamed sources believe he is hiding in an underground bunker replete with dim candlelight and back copies of "Argosy" magazine.

One of the greatest disasters of recent memory has, however, brought out far more of the enviro-nuts than I ever thought possible. A couple of quotes from them will give you the idea that perhaps these people need to change their diet from oat bran and tofu to something a tad more healthy, something perhaps with some red meat in it.

"No one can ignore the relentless increase in extreme weather events and so-called natural disasters, which in reality are no more natural than a plastic Christmas tree." Executive Director, Greenpeace UK, to the British newspaper The Independent. A spokesperson (??? Note use of Politically Correct terms here, that should prep you for the onslaught that follows...), for the Indonesian arm of Friends of the Earth told the Agence France Presse: "We can expect in the coming years similar events happening as a result of global warming and therefore help and prevention are the responsibility of the Northern countries as well."

Yep, somehow, Amurkans driving huge SUV's and having artificial Christmas trees (produced, no doubt, from fossil burning fuels, in sweatshops, by child labor beaten with whips) CAN CHANGE PLATE TECTONICS!

Yes, folks, we Amurkans are far more powerful than we ever imagined. The drift of continents depends on you! One more big dually pickup, and the entire continent may sink into the sea!

Truly, I think these people need a meds check. And some basic science courses, if a place can be found that still teaches that sort of thing. Of course, that would screw up the entire premise, which is something along the lines of the old time Luddites, that all modern technology is bad, and must be destroyed for our own good.

By the by, malaria is another problem the victims of the wave face. Now, we were well on the way to eradicating this scourge all over the world until DDT was banned as a horrible product.

In a December 29 editorial entitled "Death by Environmentalist," the Wall Street Journal wrote: "It's been estimated that malaria costs Africa 1.2 percent of its GDP, or some $12 billion annually. The pandemic compromises the educational development of the children it doesn't kill, and it depletes the mental and physical vigor of the adult population."

Thanks, tree huggers. I'm sure the third world appreciates your efforts. Ever notice that the tofu and oat bran muffin crowd believe that if we all just lived in the 19th Century, we'd "Save the Planet?"

But, the folks who really do live in countries that resemble the 19th Century want nothing more than to belong to the 21st.

Point to note, here. Being a Civil War re-enactor since 1996, my family and I have actually done the 19th Century bit, a weekend at a time, and occasionally, as long as two weeks. Those who think that cooking over an open fire, living in a world without electricity and the modern conveniences, and in harmony with nature, need to try it sometime.

Ask my wife what fun it is bathing in chilly streams and sleeping on the nice hard ground. (Quote from a tourist, wearing Birkenstocks sandals and Save the Whales T shirt during a reenactment: "You sleep here? And eat food cooked in that pan? Ewwww"). Nuff said.

Moving on.....

In other news, The radical Ansar al-Sunnah Army and two other terrorist groups issued a statement December 30th, warning Iraqis not to vote in the January 30 election because democracy is un-Islamic.

"Democracy is a Greek word meaning the rule of the people, which means that the people do what they see fit," the groups said in a warning.

"This concept is considered apostasy and defies the belief in one God - Muslims' doctrine."

Isn't it great when the Islamofascists prove every single rotten thing you've ever thought of them? Our pal, Bin Laden, says that anyone who votes is an infidel. I suppose that would include those in the blue states, but one is never sure.

Regardless, remember this stuff the next time you see or hear some talking head on the idiot box blathering about Islam being a religion of peace, tolerance, etc. etc.

The telling fact here is that you've heard no mass denunciations from the "mainstream" Islamic people. Can you imagine the hue and cry if the Methodists said that about the Lutherans? Or any other religion, for that matter.

I'm cautiously optimistic that 2005 will bring democracy, or a form of it, anyway, to Iraq, despite the doom and gloom emanating from various media talking heads and the French, neither of whom are particularly interested in democracy.

Lastly, in my continuing saga of house building, things are moving along rather well, I think. The end of the year has brought a "good perk" on the property, the well is going in soon, and the county, contrary to everything I've been told, has been nothing but helpful, courteous, and reasonable.

I expected, based on all the bad things I'd heard from those who've built homes in the past several years, to be endlessly entangled in red tape. That hasn't been the case thus far. So, my hat is off to Frederick County Sanitation, and Frederick County Permits, for not only being helpful, but easily available to talk to.

I'm trying not to get too excited, since the best laid plans of mice and men....but still, finally having our own house, with everything brand spanking new, has me jumpier than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Updates on this, for the "good of the order," will continue as needed. Hopefully, the good news will also.

So, the New Year awaits! I wish everyone a happy and prosperous 2005.

As always, Stay Low!



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