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The Tentacle


June 22, 2017

Equal Rights on the Beach

Harry M. Covert

For the moment I'm leaving the political gas-bagging to others. My intention here is to be delicate, put on my gentleman's expression and attempt to portray dignity.

 

It is summer time. Why not rest and relax, read some good books, drink some iced tea and enjoy good food?

 

Actually, there's plenty of room for some titillating topics. Since I have the floor, maybe some words regarding haute couture – or the lack of it – are appropriate.

 

Lots of vacationers are heading to the beaches. Just guess what conversation is getting all the attention? It's hot stuff. The talk isn't about the warm sand, or fun and sun, or summer festivities.

 

Instead, with private smirks, giggles and worn-out jokes, an attention getter again is flashing all over Ocean City, Maryland. She wants equal opportunity with men. The right to go bare chested in public on the beach, when riding a bicycle, or a horse, or at venues and maybe a dip in the water. I haven't heard any requests to frequent restaurants or bars for the advocate. She's hired an attorney to pursue her ideas.

 

The desire for showing off topless on the beaches is illegal, against the law. The jurisdiction has codes against public nudity.

 

I'll not identify her by name or give her blog address. She is a Marylander wanting fame and attention. She's getting it in national and international media.

 

Beachcombers with families truly grin and bear it. The bare chestedness receives lots of comments, mostly from young teenage boys, anxious maturing types, or older males who will take a glance then roll their eyes, grin perhaps and then return to reality with their families.

 

The beaches are filled with bikini wearing people of the female variety who provide oglers – eye ballers – with the joys of vision.

 

Some experts in anatomy prefer to keep quiet as to any court suits that would overturn rules and regulations that prevent toplessness by those of the female persuasion in public beaches, parks and other facilities.

 

Some legal dilettantes may try to equate bare chests with free speech. Other than guaranteeing attention, it's doubtful high courts will be bothered by the so called right.

 

For those who prefer clothes-less beaches, let them set aside some areas so they can gawk at each other and pretend to enjoy group beauty.

 

From a public interest angle, the gabble for individual bare chest rights for women and men is bogus.

 

From a male perspective of all the ages, girl-watching has always been popular. It will always remain so. There may be a few defections, but by far they are a minority sect and probably dead, in the nether world. They can be called schlampigs.

 

For a number of years the matter of legalizing such freedom-for-the-beach set always starts the summer. The subject is tantalizing.

 

Somehow, unless and until an overwhelming number of people – girls, women to be certain – approve of such public displays, the matter is moot. It may be fun to suggest but silly, disrespectful and not worthy of any more chortles and guffaws.

 

Show offs are always available and prominent. Keep watching cable teevee presenters' dressing styles and there's no need for public beaches to look and see.

 

hmcovert@gmail.com

 



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