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DOCUMENTS


The Tentacle


April 25, 2016

The Loo, Downtown, What If's

Harry M. Covert

In these days of fast changing lifestyles, it is always pleasant to receive notes from readers. Usually when readers disagree with viewpoints, they are civil.

 

Some prevailing thought has it that nasty and unkind retorts are better and more palpable.

 

Well, as has been proven of late, opinionators find it easy and acceptable in these days to tag people with whom they disagree as bigots, racists, and fear-mongers.

 

I'm not sure how much worse the dividing public discourse will become, but the battle is on for who can be uglier, meaner and downright foolish.

 

There is so much news going on the "what if" business is hale and hearty.

 

I discovered I had readers internationally, at least one. That is nice and encouraging. I've been a strong Anglophile since a childhood pen pal gifted me with the commemorative coronation book of Queen Elizabeth II.

 

Seeing 94 year old Prince Philip chauffeur Mr. Obama last week at Windsor reminded me of my childhood correspondent Ann Beer of Ramsgate, Kent. We've lost touch since those days in 1953 much to my chagrin.

 

The email I received came from a Galahad Sweetbottom of the Cotswolds. The British have unusual surnames. He noted his hope to move near Catoctin later this year.

 

He writes:

 

“Mr. C (Brits don't use commas abbreviations): You Yanks make things up as issues. Slow down, take a breath. I heard your president got more news talking about bathrooms than all the world crises."

 

Mr. Sweetbotttom added: "if you Yanks are confused as to which loo to use, just change the door signs to unisex or LOO."

 

My response was “please don't call me a Yankee.”

 

Back to what ifs.

 

If Frederick's planned downtown hotel and convention center was open today, the would be president from "Noo Yawk" could have fired up voters in Frederick instead of Hagerstown and enjoyed more thousands of people and one or two objectors.

 

If the lone Frederick transgender student had not been booted from an earlier blow out at the Weinberg Center, he could have received more notoriety from the hard-line Trumpster agents. The cable mavens would go berserk.

 

I wonder who will be first of the new political candidates to start speechifying a-la the dominating man in Frederick and statewide. There will be a few, quite naturally.

 

Scouring the proposed Frederick County $560 million budget over the weekend, my mind wandered.

 

As silly as this may read, what if Bill Clinton's wife chose FLOTUS Michelle Obama as running mate? The news would be out of this world and fun for us all.

 

Consider if, stay with me, Sen. Barbara Mikulski was chosen as No. 2; after all, she's always looked up to Bill Clinton's devoted spouse.

 

I'm not through with this. Maybe Larry Hogan, Frederick's and Maryland's popular governor, could be Mr. D's man at the Observatory on Massachusetts Avenue.

 

There is nothing parsimonious about the races. They all talk and prattle about the money crises but spend relentlessly without qualms. My gripe with the spend thrifts they aren't buying ad spaces on the printed newspaper pages.

 

I may add that all the coverage newspapers give professional sports, they lack in reciprocal support.

 

Suppose County Executive Jan Gardner's media guru Robin Santangelo jumped on the HRC machine?

 

Suppose Frederick television master and collegiate trustee Timothy Wesolek was called to command the T-machine?

 

Okay, back to the matters of county realities where tomorrow’s election is important and citizens may have "malice pretense."

 

Whether we like it or not, the good old days are now.

 

hmcovert@gmail.com

 



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