We’ve had quite a ride, haven’t we, Donald? Helicopters, private jets, and adulation everywhere we go. People suck up to us, as well they should, and, because I’m with you, I’m part of it.
I never could resist a powerful man who knew all the answers, and said he loved me. Being with you made me feel safe, and the perks have been incredible. All I had to do was keep applauding, which, of course, you deserved.
I knew you were a narcissist, but who cares when knowing you’re the best is so much fun? When you’re super special, and can make really great deals, why shouldn’t you love yourself the most?
You’re going to re-vamp the VA healthcare system, re-vamp the American healthcare system into Donald Care, send all the illegal immigrants home along with their families, and then let the good ones come back.
You’re going to find a new name for the leader of Iran besides “Supreme Ruler,” because you don’t like the old one. You’re going to make our military the biggest and the best, so big, in fact, that no one will ever attack us. Vladimir Putin, quite the narcissist himself, is going to respect you.
You’re going to make sure our southern border gets a wall, and that Mexico pays for it. You’re going to get back all the jobs China and Japan stole from us. You’re going to simplify the tax code, and lower taxes. Some of the rich might have to pay more, but they won’t care because they’ll still be making a lot of money.
And if the VA doesn’t get it together right away, you’re going to pay for veterans to visit private physicians and get the best of care.
After all, you know all the best people, so you know who to hire to get things done right. You can build a wall better than anyone, and cheaper. You can run things better than anyone, so the money for your changes, and congressional approval, of course, will come. I’m sure you’ve got some good dirt on those guys.
There are a few obstacles in the way, but the people creating them and daring to criticize you are unworthy, so you can’t be bothered by them.
There’s Carly Fiorina, and that face. The worst business executive in history, no matter that she became the first woman to ever run a Fortune 50 company, and may actually have saved Hewlett Packard, in spite of alienating family heirs.
There’s Ben Carson, that overrated, mediocre doctor, who ran large teams of professionals during incredibly difficult and stressful surgeries, who could remain calm and make good, life-saving decisions under duress after hours of painstaking work inside a human brain.
There’s Charles Krauthammer, renowned columnist, psychiatrist and quadriplegic, who finished medical school after his diving accident. What a loser.
And how about Megyn Kelly, lightweight journalist who dared ask you mean questions when she was nice to the others?
All we have to do is ignore these lightweight losers, Asian thieves and Mexican rapists, and elect you. Then America will be great again.
I’m really sorry, Donald. It’s so hard for me to even think of giving you up because it means the end of my incredible, and I do mean incredible, hopes and dreams.
I so want to believe you, but you have to go.
You see, you are so far along the narcissism scale, that Vladimir can’t even see you in the distance. You are all the way to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, with its’ attendant bullying, megalomania, paranoia, self-centeredness, and absolute certainty that no one in the world is better than you.
That doesn’t work for a president, Donald, or even a Republican candidate.
It’s true our systems needs fixing, our politicians are failing, and the world is a mess, thanks in part to the last unqualified guy we elected; but you, unqualified and untrustworthy because of your personality disorder, are not the answer.
As you happily alienate half or our society, which is, of course, fine with you because you are the best, you have hurt any chance for a sane conservative to be elected. Your mirror isn’t wide enough for you to see the people behind you being harmed. You can only see yourself.
It’s so hard to say goodbye.