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The Tentacle


February 5, 2014

It Just Doesn’t Matter....

Tom McLaughlin

Kuching, Malaysian Borneo – I have a night time routine. I go to bed around nine with my iPad and read the online version of The New York Times. The reason I retire so early is because my three year old son has found my device a source of entertainment when I accidently left it where he had access.

 

However, my reading of the newspaper is very important to me to keep up with events in the states.

 

For the past several months the one thing that has been continuously reported is gay marriage. Mind you, I really don't care who can marry whom. If a guy wants to marry another guy or a girl wants to marry another girl, I see no problem with it. States should legalize the union. I believe legislators have come around to this idea, not because they care a twit about gay marriage, but because most of them are lawyers and there is a fortune to be made in divorce.

 

One of the things that bother me about gay people is the straight people who tell me a person is gay. I have never been sure what to do with the information.

 

When they tell me "My friend David is coming and he is gay" is it a warning? Should I arm myself with a knife and gun because he just might want to ravage me? Will he come dressed as Madonna and I should take no notice because if I stare at him he will become offended? Do I start the conversation with "How does it feel to be gay?"

 

I like the times when straight people tell me he is a gay followed by his occupation. For example, he is a gay aeronautical engineer or a gay plumber as if being gay has something to do with the way he designs airplanes or fixes pipes.

 

If I find out somebody is an aeronautical engineer, I don't care if he is gay or not; I just want to emote on him/her about how many more seats he plans to cram into economy class. As for the plumber, I am sure we could discuss off shore bank accounts, the stock market or the best place to moor his yacht.

 

The same is true of lesbians. I am sometimes told that Karen is gay. Does this mean "don't even try to hit on her because there is no way in hell she will sleep with you tonight?" Or "Don't say anything bad about gays because she has a black belt in some martial arts and will throw you through the front window."And "Death will come to you in short order if you say anything derogatory about Hillary Clinton."

 

Maybe the person is trying to tell me something about themselves. Like, "Look how open minded I am because I have a gay friend!" Or "see Tom, I am just as much a liberal as you are even though I believe in the death penalty and illegal immigrants should be parachuted back to their country of origin."

 

I really don't care about a person's sexuality as I believe it is a personal thing and none of my business, but people seem to think It is important for me to know that a person is gay as if that would change my opinion of him/her. It does not.

 

I propose we all dispense with using the word gay in conversation, unless it relates to politics, and just enjoy a person's company. By passing the stereotype over will allow us to reach the inner core of a person to decide whether they are worth our friendship. And, being told somebody is gay is a major stumbling block in reaching that inner core.

 

...Life is good. . . . .

 



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