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The Tentacle


January 2, 2014

What Turkey Innards Really Say….

Chris Cavey

By chance, this year, the Cavey family was bestowed two free turkeys as Christmas presents. The urgency to be overcome by tryptophan was too great and some friends were invited for dinner.

 

While preparing the thawing bird, I gazed into the sink at the entrails lying in wait to be simmered into gravy. Overcome by the clarity of extispicy, I found I could see Maryland's 2014 political future!

 

Obamacare will become the bane of all Democrats, even in Maryland! Having now gotten past the political correctness and liberalistic coolness of helping their fellow man, the supporters of the Affordable Care Act (ACA) will now realize it is time the pay the piper, due to inept websites and actuarially incorrect rate calculations causing higher premiums and higher deductibles.

 

The first quarter of the year, while the our legislature is in session, the media will be filled with stories of people who thought they were covered, people who couldn't afford the deductibles and people who couldn't find physicians and institutions who would accept ACA payments. Yikes – during session and in an election year! What a mess!

 

To soften the blow of the new Obamacare taxes and the bad press – a Maryland tax relief bill will magically appear. Oh, it won't be important or big, but it will be something for the Democrats in charge to point to, claiming they could feel our pain and are now easing that pain. It will also be a way to show they are "distancing themselves "from the lunacy of the D.C. Beltway players."

 

Part of the charade will be to solidify the seats on the fringe of the GOP strongholds so common sense voters are confused and Democrat losses mitigated. Part will also be due to the fact a sense of fiscal logic must be maintained if they are to hold the governor's office in November.

 

As I washed the gizzard, heart and kidneys, I kept picturing a giant battle for the Democrat gubernatorial nomination – a nasty and expensive primary arrogantly fought as though June 24, 2014, would be the final battle. Dirty laundry will be displayed. Claims of incompetence in office and claims of impropriety in personal lives will abound. All with the hopes of keeping everyone's eye off the "big" problems of Maryland's various economic and tax perils.

 

Then, God as my witness, I opened the second little paper sack of guts and found two livers were packed inside this bird! What! This is crazy! What could this mean? The liver serves three main functions: cleans blood, aids in digestion and stores energy in the form of a sugar. It was like winning the entrails lottery! It could only translate in my vision as a bright spot and an important Republican win.

 

Would it be a governor who wants to change Maryland? A man who is full of energy wanting to clean the economic woes from the Old Line State? Someone who understands economics and knows we need to operate as if we are open for business? The dual liver meaning was unclear.

 

But, there were two…perhaps that was an omen of a second win. Maybe a evenly contested state Senate seat with a challenger who is a retired business person going head-to-head with a Democrat who supported Obamacare and many of Gov. Martin O'Malley's poor fiscal measures that ended in unbearable taxation. I'm not sure…could it mean two big wins? Time will certainly tell this story.

 

As I washed the last of the blood down the drain, I watched with curiosity. I saw no repeal of the Rain Tax or Gas Tax. No liberalization of gun laws. No true relief for the taxpayer. A couple of thousand bills dropped in the hopper to justify jobs and positions – and a General Assembly raise in pay.

 

I could stand no more, I threw the organ meat in the frying pay...it was soon to be gravy.

 

Chris@Cavey.com

 



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