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The Tentacle


August 28, 2013

Those Silly Right-Wingers!

Patrick W. Allen

We all know at least one person who doesn’t know much about history. We also know that there have been people who have tried to distort history. The politically and historically inept Right-Wing, however, does both.

 

It is important to note that the onset of right-wing lunacy does not occur when a political figure reaches the national stage. This condition is formulated and groomed in households and local communities across the nation...nurtured over decades by Ward and June Cleave-like parents, who fill their children's brains with ideological misinformation and propaganda.

 

Democrats do not get a free pass regarding the spread of this right-wing virus, more often than not going into local elections ill-prepared with candidates, strategies and tactics, unable to defeat the ideological rhetoric of their opposition.

 

Over the last few years (post-Clinton presidency), right-wingers have made a real effort to distort history as much as possible, to the point where they are now seeking to rewrite school textbooks. Really. This stuff is not funny, but those silly right-wingers are hell-bent to leather to recreate our nation’s history to meet their whimsical idea of where we come from…and the only requirement to join the club is to be ignorant of historical facts and events.

 

Sarah Palin: The half-governor of Alaska and someone who was unable to construct a complete and intelligent sentence during her vice presidential campaign. She is someone who is better suited as a life-sized cardboard cutout in some local politician’s office than opening her mouth in public…along with the local politician.

 

Mrs. Palin made the dubious claim that Paul Revere actually warned the British instead of the American colonists. Her supporters even made attempts to edit the Paul Revere Wikipedia entry to make her claims sound correct. If she had taken the time to read Longfellow’s poem, Paul Revere’s Ride, or even a history book, she would not have made this error. As the great majority of school children know, Revere made his midnight ride to warn Americans, not the enemy.

 

But the fun doesn’t stop with Sarah Palin. Her ignorance and right-wing nut-baggery pales in comparison to Michele Bachmann, who cannot find a reparative therapy with the ability to put her train back on the tracks.

 

Michele Bachmann: This member of the House Intelligence Committee exclaimed to a New Hampshire crowd that “the shot heard ’round the world” occurred in their state, not Massachusetts. The sad but hilarious thing is that most American children know that the first shot of the American Revolution occurred in the state of Massachusetts – at Bunker Hill.

 

Further, she claimed that John Quincy Adams is a Founding Father of America when in fact, he was just a child when the Revolution began. He was born in 1767 and was just 14 years old when the war ended. And like Ms. Palin’s supporters, Ms. Bachmann fans proceeded to edit the Wikipedia page of John Quincy Adams in an attempt to make her claim viable.

 

Additionally, but certainly not her last outburst of insanity, she has claimed that the Founding Fathers were the ones who ended slavery. That’s a head-shaking surprise to most middle school students since George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and James Monroe all owned slaves. In fact, 12 of the first 16 American presidents owned slaves.

 

General Right-Wing Absurdities: Many right-wingers have picked up on the claim that America was founded as a “Christian Nation” and have been shamelessly using it to court the Christian right-wing, and as a reason to end the separation of church and state that has been part of this country since its founding. This claim can be trounced with one simple question…If the Founding Fathers wanted America to be a Christian state why did they not say so in the Constitution? Instead, the Founders and Framers placed the following text in the document.

 

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.”

~First Amendment, Bill of Rights of the Constitution

 

In other words, there is to be absolutely no state religion.

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

We continue with the lack of knowledge of the Founding Fathers among the right-wing. Many notable right-wing figures have been making the claim that Benjamin Franklin rejected evolution. There are two problems with this claim. First, the theory of evolution wasn’t around until Charles Darwin published the theory in 1859, nearly 70 years after Mr. Franklin died in 1790. And secondly, Mr. Franklin was a man of science above all else. It is unlikely that he would have rejected a scientific theory in favor of creationism. Mr. Franklin in fact, rejected the dogma and divinity of Christianity.

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

Here comes a big shocker!  After President Barack Obama took office, many right-wing state legislators and governors, particularly in the South, began threatening secession. Does Texas ring a bell? Gov. Rick Perry and others argued that secession is a right – but is it really?

 

The answer is absolutely not. Not only did the Civil War settle this dispute, James Madison and Andrew Jackson (both Southerners) also rejected this claim. Nowhere in the Constitution will you find the right to secede. The Constitution was created by the people “in order to form a more perfect union;” and, by seceding, a state breaks up the nation, thus breaking a legally binding contract.

 

Additionally, Andrew Jackson once threatened to march an army to South Carolina after that state threatened to secede. In fact, Mr. Jackson felt that secession was treason.

 

The Supreme Court has also weighed in on this issue. In Texas vs. White, the court held that the Constitution did not permit states to secede from the United States, and that the ordinances of secession, and all the acts of the legislatures within seceding states intended to give effect to such ordinances, were “absolutely null.”

 

Summary: Until the nation can be inoculated from the spread of this right-wing lunatic virus, new generations of baby-wingers will grow up right before our eyes. Instead of allowing right-wingers to win elections based on misinformation and ignorance, they should be losing races because of it.

 

Hello Democrats? Knock. Knock…is anybody home?

 

patrickwilliamallen@comast.net

 



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