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DOCUMENTS


The Tentacle


March 4, 2011

News You May Have Missed!

Joe Charlebois

Madison WI – Proctor & Gamble senior management – including CEO Robert McDonald – toured downtown Madison this past week, visiting with the regional vice president of the Household Care division. They are expected to submit revised earnings estimates for the first quarter of 2011.

 

The company officials were here to announce an upward revision in projected sales in association with a substantial increase in retail sales in the Upper Midwest.

 

“In recognition of the efforts put forth by our energetic and forward thinking sales team, I am approving a one-time bonus of 100 shares of Proctor & Gamble stock for each of the 12 members of the South Central Wisconsin Region.” Mr. McDonald also wanted to recognize supply and logistics offices for their immediate response to the burgeoning demands centered on the capital of Wisconsin.

 

Mr. McDonald in his press release also noted that the increase in sales and subsequent stock price rise were specifically attributed to the monumental jump in sales due to introduction of Febreeze® air freshener and odor eliminating product kiosks at the Wisconsin Capitol Building in Madison.

 

Proctor and Gamble (PG-NYSE) should close in on the 52 week high of $ 66.95. CFO Jon Moeller insists that with all of the uncertainty in the Middle East and increased costs associated with the production of plastics “…the continued support of protest workers in Madison will buoy the P&G bottom line!”

 

Analysts have upgraded the stock (PG-NYSE) from a “hold” to a buy position.

 

The competition has noticed and is in a scramble mode. Kimberly-Clarke Corp. (KMB-NYSE), which boasts of a large presence in Wisconsin – and which first started in Neenah, WI – is busy setting up their own kiosks at the Capitol Building selling Depend® Brand Underwear.

 

And, then there’s this report…

 

WHITE HOUSE ANNOUNCES TAKOMA PARK TO BE PILOT PROGRAM FOR SHARIA LAW

 

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama, in an attempt to reach out to the Muslim community, has invited Muslim Cleric Anjem Choudary to the White House for dinner. This after Mr. Choudary cancelled his planned protest outside the White House on March 3rd.

 

Mr. Choudary – a British subject – is the controversial Muslim cleric who has been very outspoken on the fact that he would like to see Sharia Law imposed on all the peoples of the world. He has specifically claimed that “the flag of Islam will fly over the White House.”

 

Mr Choudary’s plans were to have fellow British Muslim extremists Abu Izzadeen and Sayful Islam join him at the rally in front of the White House. Prior to the cancellation of the rally Mr. Izzadeen – a convicted terrorist - relished the idea of holding the rally in Washington.

 

According to White House Press Secretary Jay Carney, the president will meet with Mr. Choudary in an effort to reach out to the Muslim cleric with an open hand, not a closed fist. “The president is welcoming to all faiths.” Mr. Carney said.

 

Mr. Obama, it is reported, will apologize to Mr. Choudary for the lack of acceptance by Americans in the establishment of Sharia Law.

 

In an attempt to right this injustice, Mr. Obama is planning to announce a joint effort with Mr. Choudary and the Muslim community in establishing a pilot program to institute Sharia Law in the City of Takoma Park, MD. Takoma Park was chosen due to its long term support of diversity, proximity to Washington and its proud tradition of being a sanctuary city.

Ms. Azalea Adams, a resident of Takoma Park, was excited when told of the plans. “We are a city of ‘firsts.’ We are already a nuclear free zone and one of the first cities to earn sanctuary city status, being the first to embrace this diversity is truly a blessing.”

 

It is uncertain how the implementation of Sharia law will impact the citizens of the city. None of the council members or Mayor Bruce Williams was available for comment.

 

Joe_Charlebois@yahoo.com

 



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