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The Tentacle


December 31, 2010

Enough with the Resolutions…

Farrell Keough

While thinking about the New Year, I did a search on the “The Top 10 Resolutions List” using Google. Since I am so limited in my own ability to generate new and interesting thoughts, I figured I should go with my strengths and use someone else’s work. So, here goes, the Top Ten with my comments…

 

Stop Smoking – Fine! I know I need to do this and frankly, I am sick-and-tired of EVERYONE telling me that! They say an intervention is coming……

 

Get into a Habit of being Fit – And just how does one define “Fit?” Fit as a fiddle? Have you ever considered the shape of a fiddle? I “fit” into my clothes (for the most part); I “fit” into my car; I “fit” into my chair at work… I guess it is kind of like “what the definition of ‘is’ is...”

 

Lose Weight – The Battle of the Bulge – Now, there’s a plan – get involved in more battles! I’m married; hence I am consistently in battles. I am also male; hence I am consistently on the losing end of said battles. Now I am told to enter a battle against nature? Riiiight. As the Irish saying goes, “fool me once, shame on you – fool me twice, shame on me.”

 

Enjoy Life More – Hold the bus, Kramden! This is a list of 10 things that will cause me great pain and these people think I can enjoy life more?!? I might have been born at night, but not last night!

 

Quit Drinking – This goes back to the smoking thing – dern it! Fine! But I can assure one that this will not help me enjoy life more!

 

Organize Yourself – This is one of the keys to reaching your goals – Seriously? Consider the people who teach and take these classes – they either already do this stuff or simply take the class and put the books on a shelf. My motto: organization is a sign of an uncreative mind…

 

Learn Something New – What is with everything being new? Old is fine. It worked for my parents, their parents, and their parents… This would also involve Organizing Myself, and you could probably put this under the Enjoy Life More rubric. No! This is work – nothing more! I done gradumated High School – I’m set for life….

 

Get out of Debt – But I have more checks!

 

Spend More Time With Family – Let’s get specific here – whose family? I know my family and on many occasions, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is a valid saying – and it’s not something new you have to learn!

 

Help People – I have already made great strides in this area! Please feel free to donate to the “Farrell Keough Relief Fund” – it will help you Enjoy Life More and make you Fit!

 

fkeough@hotmail.com



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