Tom Goes Spark’in
Kuching, Malaysia – Being a relatively healthy male, I enjoy the company of women and learning the dating customs has been a challenge. Wandering around in my mid 50’s, yet thinking I am in my 20’s, I have met and carefully enjoyed many platonic associations.
Many of my friends in the states have ditched their starter wife of say 20 years and live with or married a much younger girl. They sometimes start another family. The path of wedded bliss followed by the pitter-patter of little feet scares the hell out of me at my age.
I am beyond wandering the malls searching for friends. I don’t particularly like night clubs, dancing away and drinking new bizarre drinks served in what I once thought were a martini glasses. I like my 11 P.M. bed time. Watching the latest heart throb at the cinema does not hold much of a thrill. Casablanca and Mama Mia! for me please.
Chasing a wobbly year old around the living room, again, with a diaper is not on my bucket list. Picking up my 13-year-old son or daughter at the middle school dance, or worse, chaperoning one, while in my 60’s, makes me cringe. Teaching a 15 year old to drive in my 70’s will certainly give me angina. I want to sit back and doze while watching TV Land.
Like in the states, many men my age are taking young girlfriends or a second, barely out of puberty wife, here in Malaysia. The second-wife thing has gained popularity. The man must be able to support both of them in equal types of lifestyles. He can’t put wife number one in a hut in the jungle and then elevate number two into the Taj Mahal. He must also get wife number one’s permission. She usually agrees, glad to be rid of the old goat.
As a person seeking a permanent relationship and life partner, okay I admit it, I am expected to find a young girl, 18 or so. Men can’t understand why I would want an older lady when young, vibrant and sexually attractive goddesses are readily available. Except for my tummy, I am good looking and, according to standards here, I am very wealthy. It is difficult to convince people that I am lower middle class back in the states when I seem to live like a Raja here.
Since the husband of my girlfriend of 35 years ago, who I am madly in love with, has not died, I have begun a new search. Her spouse will probably live into his mid 100’s confounding the doctors and shamans who predicted his imminent demise.
I have spurned the coy flirtations of the youngsters, searching for a mature lady without baggage. I am not interested in inheriting a ready made family caused by her unwise dalliances of past relationships. One girl with two little kids came over the see me several times until her older brother put a stop to it. She was very pretty, but I had no intention of adding to the population.
One lady I have espied and been talking is a very, very pretty 41-year-old single person. Running down the list: single, yes; kids no. Not a very long list. An added bonus is that she is a Malay, who speaks excellent English having attended Chinese school where lessons were taught in the Queens’s tongue.
I have been sitting and talking to her in a small shop she owns along the banks of the Sarawak River. She sells Borneo arts and crafts to tourists who come to visit from around the world. According to local custom, I cannot be alone in the same room with her even though both doors are open and lights that would illuminate Redskin stadium flood the small enclosure.
I invited her over to my condo, accompanied by a friend of course, and she agreed to a visit.
…life is good…