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The Tentacle


October 4, 2002

Suspended For Wearing A Sign Offering Hugs!

Mike Kuster

What the hell is going on in Frederick County Public Schools? The behavior of our county principals do not cease to provide embarrassment for our county. Last year, it seemed there were perverts, spankers, and oppressors of free speech.

This year was starting pretty quietly. One may have believed that our principals had regained their senses or been replaced with sane administrators.

WRONG!!!

Last week, Catoctin High School Principal Ann Bonitatibus took a sign being worn - reading "Free Hugs" - from a female student. The young lady was in a competition with a friend to see who could get the most hugs.

How harmful to the school could this be? Is offering to give hugs disruptive to the school setting? Donít kids already walk around giving hugs and more in the halls?

This young lady was doing something kind and fun. She was not breaking a law. She was not screaming obscenities, being disobedient, offering sex, or even talking back to anyone. She was not wearing one of those awful obscene tee shirts. It was not reported that she was scantily clad.

This student was wearing the words "Free Hugs."

Apparently, Principal Ann Bonitatibus believed it to be disruptive. She decided to violate this young ladyís rights.

Give me a frickiní break!

Being teenagers, other students decided to protest Ms. Bonitatibusí un-American, oppressive regime. They wore signs reading "I support the free hug movement."

In Saddam Hussein fashion, Ms. Bonitatibus marched down the halls of Catoctin High School demanding students remove the signs taped to their clothing. One can picture the principal marching down the hall flanked by her imperial guard (a.k.a. vice-principals).

Three strong-willed pillars of American solidarity refused to give-up their right to free speech. These three students did not remove their signs.

Saddam Bonitatibus had the students brought to her chambers. In that seclusion, she asked the students to remove the signs because "other students were complaining about the signs."

If any student was complaining about the signs, the complaining student should have been told to fashion his own damned sign.

This is America! We donít stop speaking because someone disagrees or is offended. What type of country would we live in if we didnít have free speech?

This brings us to the similarity of last yearís attempt to ban silent protests. In many ways, this was a silent protest. Last year, Christian Coalition puppets wanted to ban silent protest because the students were supporting gay rights. Again, a group was trying to squelch the right of American citizens to voice their opinion simply because they disagreed.

God forbid our young citizens have minds and rights to express their thoughts! Isnít that what school is for?

Back to Catoctinís Saddam Bonitatibus!

Saddam Bonitatibus suspended the three students who stood up proud and strong against tyranny! She not only denied them their right to express themselves, had them arrested (brought to her office), but then had them exiled! These are honor roll students!

God Bless America!

Suspension is the most ridiculous punishment for students. "Youíve been a bad student. So, Iím going to let you skip school for two days without recourse. How does that sound?"

"Hell, yes! Iím out of here, teachí! I think Iíll sit and watch Jerry Springer half the day. Then, Iíll get bored, go out and buy some cigarettes. Then, maybe Iíll try to buy some alcohol. By the time my friends are home from school, Iíll be ready to have some real fun! The next day, Iíll be able to sleep late because I donít have to go to school. Thanks for the punishment!"

Now, we have three confirmed exiled from Catoctin High School. There may be others! All of this the result of hugs?!

I propose that we scramble a squadron of B-52ís and light armored vehicles. We can liberate the people of Catoctin High School by eliminating Saddam Bonitatibus. Catoctin High needs a regime change!

Whereís George W. when you need him?



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