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The Tentacle


September 16, 2002

Stage Mommies

Lee Marshall

Can you believe it? Little Joe Bartlett’s Mommy created mayhem in the name of fair elections at no less than three polling places in Frederick County on Election Day.

Our congressman, the distinguished Dr. Roscoe G. Bartlett, who should be embarrassed by his wife’s antics, tried to brush it off saying that she was just being a mother. Certain neighborhoods would have described her in less flattering terms.

One of the workers, who most of us know but will remain nameless here, borrowed a line from the National Rifle Association and told Joe’s campaign worker she could only have his sign if she pried it from his "cold, dead hands." That threat rang a bell, so to speak.

Such a flap is certain to cause a backlash among both Republican and Democratic voters, who now hold Little Joe’s fate in their hands and indeed Little Joe’s Daddy.

One tried and true Republican said forthrightly that the Congressman had received his last vote from her and for damn sure Little Joe won’t get her vote in the November election.

Damn, people, it’s just an election and it’s just a $30K a year position. It sounds like Joe’s Mommy is one of those soccer moms who gets mad when her less-than-able-son can’t kick or defend on the field and the coach only uses the scion of the family as a sub.

It’s like the mother who called a newspaper one evening and complained that her son’s name wasn’t in the paper with the story on his team’s little league game. "He got three hits," the Mommy railed.

The editor checked out the box score and found out the budding Babe Ruth had two dinks in the infield and was thrown out each time. In baseball, that’s oh-for-three, nada, nil.

It also sounds like the Mommy whose lazy, spoiled child fails to do his or her work and the teacher is berated for putting a black mark on the report card. Overbearing Mommy’s are the scourge of the earth and I’m not certain they endear themselves to their children.

We understand that Little Joe tried in vain to apologize for his Mommy’s antics, but his words fell on deaf ears, especially from the poll worker whose coffee was spilled all over his clothes and the chair brought for Little Joe’s own poll worker.

Embarrassed? You betchersweetA! We are all embarrassed by a Mommy, who until recently was respected by all. Who can explain what happens when Joe’s Mommy knows her son is a dolt when it comes to Annapolis?

The word on the street is that the Christian Coalition in Frederick is responsible for putting Little Joe’s name back on the ballot. That shows you that a knife cuts both ways and one "Attaboy" can be canceled out by one "Aw, Shucks."

Joe’s a nice young man, not at all apparently like his Mommy (at least last Tuesday), but he was rated absolute last in effectiveness in Annapolis. Someone else termed his brain a "bag full of rocks," but, put in perspective, apparently Little Joe only does well in his own comfortable home and office environments. Annapolis is not his forte, to say the least.

Putting in Little Joe as the top vote getter should embarrass every knowledgeable voter in Frederick County. On the other hand, kicking out now former Del. Louise Snodgrass is an absolute shame. Without Louise, our entire delegation would have done nothing of substance the last four sessions of the General Assembly. She’s the one who had to keep saying, "Switch" to the likes of Alex, Tim (so long), and Sue.

And speaking of mothers, Our Alex has a mother who is the real thing, too. She’s worked hard to get Alex’s campaign going, generating support, sign locations, fund raising, the whole kit and caboodle. However, Alex’s Mommy hasn’t assaulted anyone yet.

And it’s interesting to ponder what former Sen. Jack Derr might have achieved had his mother been an active campaigner four years ago. She might have kicked some butt at the polls, too, and then we might not be in this mess.



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