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The Tentacle


August 20, 2002

Back To Dorm Life! Bring On The Pizza!!!!!

J. D. Hulse

I have been trying to do a little spring cleaning. Okay, I realize that spring is looooooonnggg gone, but I've been a little busy.

Doing the paper shuffle I ran across some old bank statements, expense account forms and tax returns.

I came to two conclusions. I have had a great time in the past 10 years, and I spent a lot of money. Can we say debt, boys and girls?

These two things, I have come to realize, sometimes go hand in hand.

Most of the money I spent went for essentials. New clothes, parties, trips, parties, decorating the house, parties, spa weekends to rest up from the vacations, trips and parties. Oh, and did I mention parties?!

Okay, now back to reality.

I am almost embarrassed to say, but my check book registry is pretty boring. I guess it's like everyone else's. Most checks are written for the supermarket, household bills, new tires and all those other mundane things of normal daily life.

I work way too hard for my paycheck and pay too much in taxes, while getting little in return, so it really makes me mad when our elected officials spend MY money to live better than I do while they are supposed to be working for me.

I am so boiling mad that it has taken me several weeks to calm down from an article I read on August 1st about our delegation's expenses.

All told it seems that just our group managed to spend $76,642, mostly in food and lodging.

The two candidates for senator in District 3 paid more in housing costs in three months than many of their constituents do for rent for an entire year.

Folks, our delegation's total expenses for three months work are more than I make a year.

I'm sure it's more than most of you make, too.

I think the time has come for elected officials to go back to school, (no, not courses in accounting, although that might not hurt).

I suggest we build a Legislative Campus.

Guess we wouldn't want to name it after former governors Marvin Mandel or Spiro Agnew though.

Too bad Leisure World is taken.

All elected officials would stay in suite-like settings. You know dorm life.

Everyone gets their own bedroom for privacy but share a common living room and kitchen.

I remember how much fun it was in college, going from room to room when I had free time and visiting with friends, sharing cold pizza during study time and learning about each other during talks well into the morning hours.

My company is constantly trying to foster a team-like atmosphere, everyone going for the same goal. Seems to me for many years all that gets done in Annapolis is snubbing and posturing.

Imagine all the work that could be accomplished if these people had to live together 24 hours a day. No one would miss a meeting because one of the "roommates," I'm sure, would be an early riser.

All meals would be provided in the cafeteria, they could work out in the gym, what the heck, let's throw in maid service!

Of course, with some of our delegation we would have to require a security deposit.

Think of the jobs created in construction, maintenance, housekeeping, and concierges.

The environment would be better for it with no one going home everyday.

Yes, those who live close by, or claim they don't want to spend the taxpayer 's money and leave, may save some money in the short term. But imagine the peace of mind we the public will have knowing our "Friends on the Bay" are working night and day for our best interests.

In the off months we could let Navy families rent suites, or conventioneers or tourists that would help the facility pay for itself in no time.

If we can pull this off, I just might send a few pizzas in the middle of the night myself.

That is, of course, if all the guys are back from the panty raid.



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