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DOCUMENTS


The Tentacle


August 24, 2006

Election Year Over/Unders

John P. Snyder

Step right up. Place your bets. The election season presents all sorts of wagering possibilities. Here are some early lines courtesy of bookmakers located just outside Feagaville. Remember all ties go to the house.

5. The number of white Maryland Democrats with a "Mfume for Senate" bumper stickers on their cars. Apparently Mr. Mfume didn't get the memo. White liberals are meant to lead black citizens, not the other way around.

9. The number of statewide polls that are to be taken with a grain of salt. Polls - as news - are nothing new to The Washington Post Po and Baltimore's Sun. But summertime polls conducted over the weekend have a tendency to oversample certain groups and leave out others. When asked if you are a likely voter, who is going to say no?

6. Number of painfully wrong articles written by Frederick News Post columnist Joe Volz. Last week in his column, he suggested that State Senate President Mike Miller could help Candy Greenway by campaigning with her in Frederick. It was also written that Martin O'Malley would have coattails in our county. No doubt he is excited about Maggie Hayes chances against Paul Stull and Joe Bartlett, too. Mr. Volz columns have the "depth of a cookie sheet" feel to them.

8. The number of people, outside of his family and staff, who can cite any accomplishments of retiring Paul Sarbanes during his 30 years in the Senate. He seemed wide awake during the Watergate hearings, but that was 32 years ago.

385. The number of times Kai Hagen, this year's Ron Sundergill, will blame "the developers" as some sinister enemy of all Frederick county residents. Developers are merely the conduit between the demand and the people, fueled by government policy that regards home ownership as a good thing and families that want a nice place to live. Ditto Lennie Thompson.

132. The number of times State Del. Galen Clagett will proclaim himself to be a pro-business moderate. He may be, but when he is in Annapolis he is nothing more than a human sock puppet for Speaker Mike Busch (D., Anne Arundel).

There is no truth to the rumor making the rounds that, when asked his position on the Monroe Doctrine at first Delegate Clagett looked confused; but then replied, "if the boss is for it, I'm for it."

26%. The share of the total vote for Democrat congressman wannabe Andrew Duck in Carroll County. They don't suffer Dems too easily over there.

Wager only what you can afford.



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