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| Joe Charlebois | Guest Columnist | Harry M. Covert | Norman M. Covert | Hayden Duke | Jason Miller | Ken Kellar | Patricia A. Kelly | Edward Lulie III | Tom McLaughlin | Patricia Price | Cindy A. Rose | Richard B. Weldon Jr. | Brooke Winn |

DOCUMENTS


The Tentacle


July 9, 2006

Beware of Greeks Bearing..

Tom McLaughlin

Humor by Tom McLaughlin

According to a local weekly newspaper, the sales of condos and vacation homes have slowed down considerably since last year. This revelation goes along with the recent discovery that the sky is blue and grass is green.

New projects have been stopped and some builders are offering incentives to agents whose referrals purchase a property at full (read fools') price.

One of the facts mentioned in the article is that there are now too many real estate agents for the number of properties for sale. I did not think that was possible, as there always seemed to be one agent for every house on the market. However, that has increased to three or four per property because - during the boom - everyone got their license and chased the elusive golden condo to that pot of commissions.

As in all professions, one must be flexible and use their transferable skills for other employment. During a down market, one must reach six feet into themselves and look for skills that will work for another job.

All agents must be familiar with amortization tables and that skill can be brought to good use in the actuary field. For example in cold calling:

Hello!

Is Mr. Smith there?

Speaking:

According to my figures you will be dead in a year.

Oh?

I have a lovely plot with babbling brook frontage.

What?

It's only $7,500.

That's too much

How about a plot with a view of the babbling brook? That's $5,000.

Still too much.

How about our low cost wetland parcels called Swamp Acres? You will float into eternity!

No thanks.

Since most agents have spent time in open houses, he should use his skills to gain clients via the crime factor.

Hello:

Mr. Smith?

Speaking?

I understand you are going on vacation for two weeks.

How did you know?

It was listed in the secret vacation time listings.

Mr. Smith, You know the crime rate in the area and I will be glad to live in your house while you are at the beach. I have references.

Sounds good.

Mr. Smith returns.

I sold your house for you while you were away.

It wasn't for sale.

But I got this great deal.

That's $10,000 less than what I paid for it. But in this market it's wonderful.

No way!

How about a plot in front of a babbling brook for your long-term future thrown in?



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