It's Almost Over! So What's Next?
Humor by Tom McLaughlin
We had hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hopes! We had hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hopes! High in the sky, apple pie hopes!
Two local teams in the playoffs! The anticipation! The days went soooooooo slow as I awaited kick off. I think I read every word in the newspaper, savoring the predictions. I became both a Redskins and Colts, I mean Ravens fan at the same time. I was always a Redskins fan and never bothered with the Colts, I mean Ravens, since they hauled out of Baltimore those many years ago.
I remember I contacted my congressman and asked if the State Police could stop them at the Maryland-West Virginia border. Then I sped to Ranson looking for Deliverance types to shoot out the tires of those moving vans.
The games were good! Oh, they were good! There were such high hopes and then dashed to the ground hopes followed by more soaring and then kerplunks! It was like my marriage or being a Democrat. Then reality sunk in and the only thing I could say was Oh! What a season it was! Now the last games, the final playoffs, and then Super Bowl Sunday arrives.
So, let's see. Who am I going to pick for the AFC and NFC playoffs. I need to get this column into John so he can post it and contact my bookie. He is the eighth grader down the road. My bookie, not John: although some would argue.
I am not a great football fan outside the Redskin, so I have no idea about the play-off teams, their records, how they played or much else. So my predictions are pure whimsy, much like the weather forecasters.
Carolina Panthers. "Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the Morrrning."
Seattle Seahawks. "The bluest sky you've ever seen is in Seattle!"
Denver Broncos. "Rocky Mountain High, Colorado!"
Pittsburgh: I can't think of any song about Pittsburgh. Or Pennsylvania.
Okay, based on the songs I can think of right now, I will have to go with John Denver. The two others are so awful I can't pick one. Okay; time to pick teams like I do the my stock market decisions. Let's, see heads it's Seattle, tails it's Carolina.
My predictions are the Seattle Seahawks over the Carolina Panthers and the Denver Broncos over the Pittsburgh Steelers. My Super Bowl prediction will be next Sunday; if I remember.
The next great sports event coming are the Olympics being held some where in Italy. I love the skating; oh, those short tutu's the ladies wear! Then the guys, who cut a whole in the ice, swim under water, jump out and run five miles and then.no Tom, that's the summer stuff.
I wonder if the Jamaican bobsled team will return. I think everyone roots for them as they turn somersaults down the shoot.
Will Tonya Harding be back?
Now there's a Republican presidential candidate!